Monday, October 18, 2010

The world's most overrated tourist destinations

I've been fortunate enough to see a lot of the world's great tourist destinations in my 30 years. I've stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon, looked across the Tri-State Area from atop the World Trade Center, and just last week rode across London's Tower Bridge on a double-decker bus.

But I've also come across some tourist destinations that fail to live up to their hype -- like if the Grand Canyon were just a muddy creek you could skip a stone across. These are the tourist destinations that make you say "that's it?" instead of "that's amazing!" Here are some to avoid on your next vacation:

Stonehenge
The romanticized description of Stonehenge goes something like this: "Stonehenge is an ancient burial ground built thousands of years ago by a mysterious culture. Its meaning, design and symbolism are still debated to this day, and it strikes wonder into the hearts and minds of those who visit."

The realistic description of Stonehenge, however, is much different: "Stonehenge is a pile of rocks right next to a major highway through the middle of nowhere, behind a chain-link fence that you have to pay like 30 bucks to get past, and even then there's a rope that keeps you far away from the actual monument. Once you stop wondering how such an ancient civilization managed to lift and balance such huge stones on top of each other, the only mystery left is why people keep paying to see it."

Hollywood Boulevard
Hollywood looks so glamorous when the red carpet is rolled out in front of the Chinese Theatre or the Kodak Theatre for an awards show or big movie premiere. Well guess what? It doesn't look like that the rest of the time. In typical Hollywood fashion, everything gets dressed up to look good for the cameras, then it goes back to looking like the run-down neighborhood it is.

Hollywood Boulevard is dominated by dirty gift shops and sketchy guys in bad movie costumes trying to get suckers to take their pictures for money. Finding a good view of the Hollywood sign is nearly impossible. And there's a decent chance that a homeless guy puked on your favorite actor's Walk of Fame star last night.

Wrigley Field
Red Sox fans take the recent improvements to Fenway Park for granted. Before the new ownership took over, there was an ugly net above the Green Monster, and the concession areas were dungeon-like passageways. Now there are fancy new seats, spacious concessions and flat-screen TVs in the grandstands. Even though Fenway is 98 years old, it feels like a modern park.

Wrigley Field, on the other hand, just feels old. Sure, the ivy wall and the rooftop seats on nearby apartments are cool, and they bring you cheap beer in your seats, but there's paint chipping all over the place, random nets hanging under the grandstands and the dreaded troughs in the bathroom. Wrigley was decent enough overall, but I definitely didn't get the the "whoa, this is a historic place" factor that people get when you go to Fenway or even the old Yankee Stadium.

Plymouth Rock
The controversial civil rights activist Denzel Washington once said, "We didn't land on Plymouth Rock! Plymouth Rock landed on us!" If Plymouth Rock actually landed on you, you'd probably just stub your toe. The thing is so damn small. You know how when you're a little kid and you think something is really big, then you see the same thing when you're older and you're like, "I remember it being much bigger"? That doesn't happen at Plymouth Rock. Even little kids go, "Wow, that's tiny." If that's really where the Mayflower landed, it must have been the littlest boat ever.

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